Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
