I need help removing her.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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