I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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