u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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