so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
