tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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