What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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