allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
