upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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