Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
