do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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