Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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