i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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