I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm at about main and main street
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
