Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
