I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
