these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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