I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
