I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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