It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
