Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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