And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
