He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize