direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
