why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
