Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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