i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
