So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
