Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
