how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
