you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
