i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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