Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have post one night stand depression
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
