She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
