I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize