I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
