new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
