In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
