Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize