he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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