time to smoke my breakfast
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize