dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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