You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
