You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
