You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize