Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
