not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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