new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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