Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
