I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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