I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize