is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize