The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
where are my eyebrows?
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