My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
