Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
