i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
