I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
