in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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