Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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