Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
