Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize