I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
