Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for