We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm