I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
